Players and Characters:

Lydia ........ Cyrus
Shai ........ Sonnet
Scott ........ Benedict
Jarrod ....... Osric
Rob ........ Finndo
Deborah ...... Sybil
Fred ........ GM

Stat line up:

-2 Poor
-1 Mediocre
0 Average
1 Fair
2 Good
3 Great
4 Superb
5 Epic
6 Legendary
7 Legendary +1
etc.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quotes: Session 18: Necessary Measures // Measures of Men

The reader may or may not recall that when we last left off, we found that we'd been duped. The merry band of adventurers had traveled beyond the edge of reality to retrieve Oberon's mostly dead brother, Malachai, from his coffin of primal stone. There was a long journey back to find that several years had passed in Amber, the traitorous Queen had seized Amber and we were all men and women to be sent to the Amber equivalent of the Tower (the dungeons). It was eventually determined that we were in Yet Another Blasted Illusion and we managed to work our way back to reality but not before a lot of physical injury had been done (mostly to us). So there we were, _back_ on the very edge of reality, about to sail home with a mostly dead corpse and his coffin of primal stone...

The title of the session is Necessary Measures. It was nearly 'Measures of Men' and then the GM, for some reason, had second thoughts. Proof that women _are_ predictable:

Fred: "No, I didn't make [the session title] measures of men."
Shai and Deborah laugh promptly.
Shai: "Ruler!"
Jarrod and Lydia, together: "Oh, the beatings."

Someone's feeling sassy:

GM: "As I recall - "
Rob sings: "The Looooove Boat!"

Grevlok was the huuuuuuuuuuge metal golem who was guarding Malachai; Finndo talked our way around him (to the GM's vaguely bemused expression). Getting organized:

GM: "You were headed home. You guys had your conversation with Grevlok one last time; Finndo is pretty sure he could draw a trump of the guy, although that would be an interesting experience; you've headed off into shadow through the veils of the elements. You have a melted guy. Where are you putting him?"

Sybil had every limb broken in the dungeons and Finndo had his arms broken and his hands sprained (bless you, Selm). Cyrus, on the other hand, saw the pavement rise up and decided to do what Cyrus does best:

GM: "Oh, and three of you have aggressively broken limbs!"
Lydia: "Only accidentally."
GM: "Yes, you picked an argument with a boulder."

Osric's boatful of Vikings got whisked away by Dworkin's illusion and never whisked back. We now have a boat with no crew and a hold full of tarbabies of evil (no, really) that devour everything they encounter. How do you unify a fractious bunch? You propose a Very Bad Idea:

GM to Osric: "You're missing your staff."
Lydia, brightly: "We could free the podlings."
Everyone: "NO!"

Anger is not rational, O Master:

Jarrod: "We could feed Malachai to the podlings. He's pissed me off!"
GM: "/How/?"
Jarrod shrugs: "He's dead and stuff."

The first time we picked up the Malachai (or only thought we picked up Malachai), he was, well, rather dead. See the GM. See the GM reason with the player:

GM: "The first one was definitely a corpse. This one seems vaguely alive."
Scott: "He's only MOSTLY dead!"

Sybil has been calling Town, her fire elemental (who, it turns out, is not lost like the crew but still trapped in the cards where he was put for safekeeping, for which I am absurdly grateful). When she gets no reply, she calls out to Finndo. Er. That's _Finndo_, not _Fido_:

Sybil, tapping her leg: "Finndo! C'mere, Finndo!"
Finndo, too pleasantly: "I beg your pardon?"
Sybil backs up: "Oh! Oh. Uhm. Yes." Clears her throat, "My prince, if I could trouble you for a moment?"

The party makes it from fire to earth and now have a landlocked ship. They discuss ways to move the ship (with Sybil eager to do the honors). Sybil finally gets a passing grade in buttons! On choosing the lesser chaos:

Sybil: "It's not like I have too much to do."
Osric: "It seems like overkill."
Sybil: "Or I can just stand here and think up ways to occupy myself."
Osric: "Right. So. Earth elementals, please."
Sybil: "I thought so."

The party is about to have to force its way through a titanic sandstorm. Familiar rituals comfort the soul in crisis:

Benedict: "OSRIC!"
Osric: "Working on it!"

One of those 'don't ask why' moments:

Shai: "Sonnet's been quite calmly drinking. You wouldn't know unless she got real close."
Deborah stares. Opens her mouth. Shuts it.

Finndo gives Sonnet a copy of Neil Stephenson's 'Cryptonomicon' (an excellent book), which she reads to Sybil on the long journey home. 'Cryptonomicon' contains, among other things, haikus written on the fly by a Marine during World War II:

Shai: "Sonnet's standing there with her brandy, reading Cryptonomicon to Sybil in a low, soothing, gentle voice."
Rob: "Excellent! You get Bobby Shaftoe's haikus!"
Deborah: "Which Sybil does /not/ get..."
GM, matter of factly: "Okay."

And then the double take:

GM squints: "WEIRD."

Imagine a very very long trip home full of outbursts like this:

Deborah: "Sybil says, "What does that mean!""
Shai: "Sonnet says, "Hell if I know.""

Well, since chainsaws didn't work on them:

Rob: "Have you considered just bringing down a shopvac?"
Deborah: "For what, the devourers [the podlings]?"
GM vibrates backwards with large, surprised eyes: "Wawawawawawa wshloooooop!"

Divide and shllurrrrrp:

Jarrod: "Military grade shopvacs."
Rob: "Yeah, you just use two of them - oh look I got two halves."

Cyrus decides that now would be a good time to actually go check on the devourers. And, while he's down there, to make sure they /stay/ down there by reinforcing the barrels the devourers are kept in. Not just tarbabies of evil, but _whiny_ tarbabies of evil:

GM to Lydia: "Since you rolled superb, they're still in the barrels."
Lydia: "Pound pound pound nail nail nail."
Devourer: "Wawawwwwwaaaaaa!"
Cyrus: "SHUT UP!"
Thedevourer emits sounds of meek protest.

This approach inspires Rob to creativity. Never piss off the nice guy:

Rob: "I know how to torture you! I'm going to leave you in there and play Chipmunks albums at you!"
The GM ( imitating the devourer) pounds on the bookcases in protest.
Rob: "That'll show you. Now behave! Stupid, _stupid_ forces of darkness."

Two or three weeks to /what/? Ominously vague prediction:

GM: "Roll pattern."
Rob: "This is when the winged monkeys attack."
Jarrod: "You need to not help."
GM: "You figure you've got two or three weeks."

And these two play the optimists:

Lydia: "Mind you, I'm a little worried that we're going to heal up, we're going to go back, and Cymnea's going to break all of our bones again."
Shai: "Don't you think Sonnet's thinking the same thing?"

The nobility of Andros considered themselves to combat the Darkness - which, incidentally, Benedict now controls (like those podlings in the hold) as the Master of Eagle's Peak. Sonnet knew that she was the last scion of Andros, but she had not really known the history of Andros until she recently spent some time in the library of Bran Brazil. Every now and then, it seems like the more you understand Sonnet, the more you need to track your SAN (for depletion, I might add):

Shai: "Benedict gets a note left in his cabin one night; 'go to bran Brazil's library'. You recognize the handwriting."
Deborah: "Jeeesus, Shai."
Shai: "She LOVES him, she just wants him to know."
Deborah: "I love you honey, I just feel obliged to kill you, here's why?"
Shai nods emphatically, "Yes!"

Benedict attempts to explain his new role to his brother Osric. What exactly do you say to 'so I seem to have aligned myself with the forces of darkness'? Congratulations?

Benedict: "There's only one Master of Eagle's Peak."
Osric: "Reaaaaaaalllly."
Benedict: "... Yes."

Uhm, Osric is the guy who keeps dealing on the side with traitors, enemies, and other psychotics with whom we don't see eye to eye. Point of order, please:

Osric: "You don't seem overjoyed."
Benedict: "Should I?"
Osric: "They seem to be a great deal of help to you when you need them."

Oh, well, if THAT's all:

Benedict: "Riiiight. I wonder what their purpose is? What they actually want? I don't know."
Osric: "Trauma, dismemberment, the end of the universe, that's usually what they want."

Benedict keeps having these spider fly conversations:

Benedict, volunteering: "I promised them destruction."
Osric, arid: "Reeeaaaally."

Giving up on the Aristotle method:

Benedict: "Their own destruction. As their master. The first time I came down from Eagle's Peak, I promised myself I would destroy it, eradicate it."
Osric: "You'd think they would be rather upset about that."
Benedict: "No, they seem to be rather impatient that I haven't gone about it yet."
Osric, gently: "That can only be characterized as Not Good."

Spider. FLY. Pattern recognition, please:

Benedict: "This is why I am... a touch concerned. One of the reasons I am a touch concerned."
Osric: "Well."
Benedict: "I may need some help."

Looking on the bright side:

Osric: "Either [they want to be destroyed because] if they're destroyed, something bigger comes after them - or they're just weary of their duties and want to be put to rest, and somehow I doubt that. They want something from you."

On tact:

Benedict: "Did I tell you about my encounter with Father down there?"
Osric: "I think you missed that."
Benedict: "Did I now. The second time I visited Eagle's Peak, instead of going up, I went down, into the caverns were you saw me."
Osric: "Oh is that where you were?"

Filial loyalty not so much the family specialty:

Benedict: "Yes. I saw father there. He pissed me off."
Osric: "He has a gift for that."
Benedict: "I cut his head off."
Osric: "Bravo."

Really, sometimes you just don't need to add:

Benedict: "The next thing I know, it was a month later, I have no recollection, and I am much better at calling on the powers of darkness."
Osric: "That can only be characterized as Not Good."
Benedict: "You've said that already."
Osric: "Yes."

Putting one's soul up not just for sale but for auction:

Benedict: "Which is why I asked about the whole thing with the sword."
Osric: "That can only mean they're not done with you yet."
Benedict: "... yes. So you see I'm looking for a weapon to fight them."

Nobody listens to the big dumb fighter - wait, wrong game:

Osric: "It shouldn't be you [to use as a weapon against the Powers of Darkness]."
Benedict: "It shouldn't be me?"
Osric: "Given what happened the last time."
Benedict: "Oh. There might be something to what you say."
Osric: "So glad you finally recognized that. "

Backseat Omniscience-ing:

Benedict: "Something else for you to work on, brother."
Osric: "Working on it. Save the world, drag us across reality..."
Benedict: "You've been doing a fine job at it, save for one or two bumps there.."
Osric, dry: "If you'd like to have a go."

She has a point:

GM: "The solution is not going to be Star Wars where you only have love in your heart. 'I love you!' 'Waaaawwwwwwaaaaaa we don't CARE! Munch.'"
Scott, bravely: "I am a Jedi like my father before me!"
Rob: "Dumbass."
Lydia to Scott: "Look where that got him."

The conversation with Osric reminds Benedict to check on the devourers in the hold (they being podlings of the powers of darkness). The trouble with radioactive waste is that you really can't just toss it back where you found it:

GM: "You find Cyrus standing there, chainsaw in hand, waiting."
Jarrod: "Anyone else have an opinion?"
Lydia: "Chainsaw and a net."
Rob: "Have you considered a big plastic bag?"

Remember that Roseywood is the psychosis-of-Cyrus fantasy of what his home, Rosewood, is like. In Roseywood, the Disney-ized version of Rosewood, the field hands sing in the field, thrilled to be field hands. Fighting fire with fire:

GM: "That's right; in order to fight the powers of darkness, you must go to Roseywood!"
Rob singing: "I'm consumed by a horror unknown to maaaaaan!"

Poor, brave, confused knight; the road to darkness has a gentle downward slope:

GM: "Actually, Roseywood would just get to die shrieking."
Jarrod: "And you know, that's not a bad thing!"
Scott: "No, no, it's not! The darkness does have its uses! No, wait..."

Sonnet studies math on the long voyage home. Nothing is ever easy in this game:

GM to Shai: "You're distracted by Benedict."
Sonnet: "Linear algebra, linear algebra, the fucker is bending over the rail..."

Sybil is arguing with her Fire elemental, and it's not going as well as it might. With allies like these, who needs the NPC enemies?

Osric: "I don't know what to do about that."
Benedict: "If it goes after her, I'm shooting it."
Osric: "Righto, then."
Cyrus: "So, another hand of cards...?"

And here I thought it was her charming disposition:

Cyrus: "Why do we have the Fae girl with us?"
Finndo: "It's definitely a worthwhile contribution. Honestly, worst case scenario, we sink the ship."

We make it back to the home waters and are greeted with a trump call from Oberon. No need to sound so surprised, Dad:

Oberon: "You're alive!"

And the overwhelming enthusiasm is great, too:

Finndo: "Your timing is exquisite; I was about to call you in a day."
Oberon: "I've tried every month."
Finndo: "How long has it been?"
Oberon: "A while."
Finndo: "We succeeded."
Oberon: "That's good."

Paranoia foreshadowing:

Oberon: "I expected a bit of a time distortion, so..."
Finndo: "What've we missed?"
Oberon: "I'll tell you in person."
Finndo: "It's that bad?"
Oberon: "It's a little annoying."
Finndo: "Should we speed up?"
Oberon: "No, get yourselves some rest."

Oh, like that's reassurance:

Finndo: "You're sure there's nothing absolutely terrible going on? We're a little sensitive to that."
Oberon: "No, just the usual things."

Sybil has attempted to learn cards from the Princes and this has introduced her to alcohol. When linear algebra is the lesser evil:

Shai: "Sonnet is liking math more by the day."
Deborah: "Sybil is getting drunk more by the day."
Shai: "Yes, Sonnet likes math. A lot."

Sonnet has a list of Things To Be Concerned About. She shares it with Finndo.

Sonnet: "Item 39. Consider the possibility that one of us may be possessed."
Finndo: "Already have; do not have a means to check."
Sonnet: "Good."

Here, little girl, let me draw you a map:

Finndo: "Remember the Prince of Colors? His role in things has changed somewhat."
Sybil: "I wasn't in that meeting, was I?"
Finndo: "I was recently able to work out that when Father moved the Pattern, he also moved the Prince and his Court."
Sybil: "Yes."
Finndo: "I can't imagine what would happen, given the awful things on this ship, what would happen if we were to scuttle it there."

Fred made Lydia take Dark Past as an Aspect on her sheet, and she asks this question:

Lydia: "Sigh. Why don't I ever get a happily ever after ending?"
Osric: "Because you're you."
Deborah: "You're playing Cyrus."

We stop by the pleasant, tropical islands where Cyrus stashed his crew "on vacation" on our way out to the end of the universe. Cyrus had meant to recover his crew but they aren't interested in being recovered. Never mix lonely men with affable women and expect no small, messy, loud results:

Lydia: "Do I have any men who want to come home?"
GM: "No."
Lydia: "Because it's the land of milk and honey."
GM: "Small flaw in the plan. Some of them have several wives and many small, squalling infants."

The last time (we thought) we came home (in the Dworkin illusion), the traitor Queen Cymnea had killed Sejak. So it's no coincidence that Sejak is the person Finndo calls for a barometer check on reality. Taking things in relative stride:

Finndo: "Sejak."
Sejak: "My Prince."
Finndo: "How are you?"
Sejak: "Well."
Finndo: "I fear I have been out of communication. I wanted to check on how you were doing."
Sejak: "Quite well. Technically, Governor Sejak."
Finndo: "Can you tell me how long I have been out of communication?"
Sejak: "With me, specifically? Two years."
Finndo: "... Oh."

Poise is never letting them see you sweat:

Sejak: "Have I distressed you?"
Finndo: "No. Is there anything you need?"

Governor of the Southern Isles is usually a very difficult position to hold well. It gets easier if your previous experience involved human-sacrificing druids. To every man his definition of paradise:

Sejak: "No. I'm out of touch with the mainland and I run a tight ship here. No druids."
GM: "He's got a great tan going."
Finndo: "And that brings you such pain. "
Sejak: "Deep, abiding pain."

By contrast, Benedict calls his father in law, Dorr. Sharing with the in-laws:

Dorr: "Where'd you run off?"
Benedict: "Sorry?"
Dorr: "Knew you were on some type of mission."
Benedict: "Edge of the universe."
Rob: "We were bored..."
Dorr: "This is where we start working out a system of signals. You will send me a signal ahead of time and I will not ask anything."

That's our girl:

Benedict: "Shit. What happened?"
Dorr: "Alyra got kind of uncomfortable at the castle and she came home."
Benedict: "Kind of?"
Dorr: "She's bored. She goes out into the forest a lot."
Benedict: "How much havoc at the castle?"
Dorr: "She might have insulted a few ladies... "
Benedict: "It's not such a bad thing."
Dorr: "Yeah my thought too."

When Oberon destroyed the Land and moved the Pattern, he dumped the Land's contents - Fae included - into Homewood, screwed up its geography and rendered Dorr a touch bitter. Self correcting issues:

Benedict: "It's not such a bad thing. How are you?"
Dorr: "I know what my forest looks like now."
Rob: "But on the plus side, fewer faeries."

You can't blame him for asking:

Benedict: "You did it. Right. We'll be coming home in a week."
Dorr: "Great!"
Benedict: "See you soon."
Dorr: "You aren't bringing certain doom with you or anything, are you?"

No SHARING:

Dorr: "You aren't bringing certain doom with you or anything, are you?"
Benedict: "No, not this time."
Dorr: "Good!"
Benedict: "Well -"
Dorr: "STICK WITH THAT."

Finndo trumps Ismerelda. Charming woman greets him:

Finndo: "Lady Ismerelda."
Ismerelda: "Where have you been?"

Well, that ought to shut her up:

Ismerelda: "Where have you been?"
Finndo: "The end of everything."

Or not:

Ismerelda: "A fascinating place."
Finndo: "It's a very long trip, but it _is_ a fascinating place."
Ismerelda: "I see. We'll have to talk about that sometime."

Remember, dear reader, back about 12 sessions, when we discovered (largely by dint of being double crossed separately by Ismerelda /and/ Ivan) that the Baron of Savoy, still in his minority (and under Ismerelda's Regency), was female rather than male. Finndo used this to establish in Ismerelda's head who owned her. Taking care of one's pet doberman:

Finndo: "That sounds like an excellent idea. For the moment, we were out of touch longer than I expected and I wished to see if there were outstanding matters related to the succession."
Ismerelda: "Perhaps."
Finndo: "If there were things that need to be done, I was hoping that some small changes had taken root."
Ismerelda: "I am not yet certain they are ready to be ruled by a woman's hand."
Finndo: "Understood. How close is it to the point where they will have no choice but to tip the hand?"
Ismerelda: "Ivan has blossomed a bit but we are no stranger to certain wardrobes and deceptions."
Finndo: "Understood. If you could put together what needs to be done, I'll see what can be done here."

Hand, meet cookie jar:

Sybil: "Finndo? You made me a promise."
Finndo: "I did."
Sybil: "You said I could trump the Prince of Colors."
Finndo: "You exaggerate."
Sybil glances away, blushes, looks back.
Finndo hands her the trump: "But I am pleased with what you have done. I expect this back.
Sybil: "Understood."

But Daaaaaad:

Finndo: "And I will be right here."
Sybil: "But this is personal!"

And elsewhere, back to those spider fly conversations:

Sonnet left Benedict a note: "Would you like a hint?"
Benedict finds her alone.

Not so much the soft seduction he might have had in mind:

Benedict: "What is this in relation to?"
Sonnet: "The Darkness is very old."

Sybil has a fairly unenlightening and disappointing conversation with the Prince of Colors. It leaves her in the mood to pick a fight with Finndo and she tries to bully him to get her way. Stupid, stupid girl. Teaching Grandma to Suck Eggs:

Finndo: "What have you learned about threats?"
Sybil, obediently: "Don't make them unless you can back them up."
Finndo: "Nooooo. Don't make them to ME."
Sybil: "I don't recall learning that lesson."
Finndo: "Come back to me later."

Sybil takes her confused feelings (on Finndo) to Sonnet by way of a tirade on how awful Finndo is. Sympathy takes universal forms:

Sybil: "I hate him I hate him I hate him!"
Sonnet: "Would you like some chocolate?"
Sybil: "NO. I hate him! He's obnoxious and ill mannered!"
Sonnet: "He's a prince of the realm. Would you like some chocolate?"
Sybil, meekly: "No."

Sonnet realizes that Sybil is confessing an attraction to Finndo. The two women start casting about for alternative romantic interests. Dating criteria:

Sybil: "And just - EW. Osric....ew."

Sonnet puts her foot down. Karm notions of loyalty should be tread around with a light step:

Sonnet: "Finndo is already married. To Amber."
Sybil waves that aside: "It's just a kingdom."
Sonnet: "YOU DO NOT GET BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS WIFE!"

Clutching at straws by way of reason:

Sybil: "It's not really his wife, it's his father's wife."
Sonnet: "SO HE'S SLEEPING WITH HIS FATHER'S WIFE! ISN'T THAT REPULSIVE!?"
Sybil looks thoughtful.

And from Management on High:

Finndo: "I pass the word."
Benedict: "OF."
Finndo: "That we're not taking over or anything."

The party arrives at Amber castle at last. Undignified homecomings:

Finndo: "In through the servant's door. Malachai gets hauled through the halls as a wine barrel. "

We did not have this conversation. You did not see me. I was never here:

Guard: "Sir! Okay."
Finndo: "We are delivering this wine [he indicates the body of Malachai]."
Guard: "Of course you are, sir. I will send Fritz here to be certain that you are allowed - "
Finndo: "What an excellent idea."
Guard: "You go, Fritz."

Resentment must be a genetic trait:

Guard: "Hello, sir. Your father is in residence, sir."
Finndo: "Excellent."
Sybil: "Is he ever anywhere else?"
Jarrod: "Yes - when he's out whoring."

No one wants to deal with Oberon; consequently, the women are trying to duck out before the audience. Insolence _and_ shirking:

Sonnet: "I'll go take care of paperwork, if you don't mind."
Finndo: "Actually, I do. Sybil?"
Sybil: "Actually, I'll go take care of Benedict, too."
Benedict: "Sybil."
Sybil to Finndo: "Oh, absolutely my pleasure, Prince Benedict."

This is called 'not watching your mouth':

Oberon, of Malachai: "I'm going to need to take him somewhere."
Finndo: "How soon?"
Sybil, muttered: "You'll actually leave the castle?"

A suspiciously normal state of affairs (no one ever said Oberon was a /good/ King):

Oberon: "It's been two years. There was a certain amount of fallout having to do with dropping an island in the middle of the kingdom; that's been more or less smoothed over. War in the outer kingdoms does continue, but they're bickering and it seems likely they will stay that way. More recently, Rast and Karm have been at odds."

What's the rule with Karm? Say it with me, now: Never Comment On His Wife.

Finndo: "Any reason?"
Oberon: "Rast opened his rather big mouth."
Sybil: "He offered marital advice?"
Oberon: "Of a sort. They're going to settle that in a week."
Finndo: "That's not good."

What did I tell you about cleaning up your room before you left for summer camp?

Oberon: "But, really, I expect Rast to, no offense, smack him around like a little girl. Not especially worried about it, but all the same I'd like you guys to supervise. It's going to be at Bran Brazil. Oh, before that week's up - Benedict. I've got something I'd like you to check up on."
Benedict: What is it?
Oberon: "I've had to withdraw the guards around Eagle's Peak."

And Cyrus's first thought is one of compassion:

Benedict: "hit. What's going on out there?"
Oberon: "A few of them woke up about six decades older one night. The farm lands on the southern side have started to blight."
Cyrus: "That's not near my farm, is it?"

Dubious honors:

Oberon: "And, well, without Piero around, you're my resident expert."
Benedict: "Right."
Oberon: "But that should put you near Bran Brazil around the right time."

Someone's bitter:

Finndo: "Have you dealt with the King under the sea at all?"
Oberon: "No."
Sybil, muttered, "I've got something I can drop on him."
Oberon: "What?"
Sybil smiles, "Nothing, sir."

Ever get the sense that this family is reinforcing the wrong habits:

Benedict: "I'll be in Homewood for a couple days and rejoin you."
Oberon: "Say hi to the girl."
Benedict: "Oh, who [of the court ladies] did she [Alyra] insult?"
Oberon names a few names.
Sybil beams approvingly.
Benedict nods smugly.

Finndo debriefs Oberon on the voyage to retrieve Malachai. Considering that the GM was startled when Finndo dealt with the huge metal golem (named Grevlok) by conversation rather than battle, the question of how Oberon thought we'd survive comes to mind:

Finndo: "Guardian was at the end of the universe. "
Oberon: "Big guy made of metal."
Finndo: "Yes."
Oberon, surprised: "Huh. You talked to him."

If you've got to be a rat, bite the hand that traps you:

Finndo: "Yes. Pleasant conversationalist. Beyond that there was nothingness, where we managed to find the sarcophagus."
Oberon: "Oh."
Finndo: "After finding the sarcophagus we triggered a trap, and spent sometime running around in a lab maze for Dworkin."
Oberon: "Did you find the cheese?"
Finndo: "No, but we did find out rather early that it was a maze and I think I managed to annoy him."

Leading with your chin:

Sybil: "May I ask an offensive question?"
Oberon: "I'm sure you can."
Sybil: "I did say may."

Sense of humour, yes. Questionable sense of humour, even:

Finndo: "But those are the most salient points."
Oberon: "Sounds like a real laugh riot."
Osric: "Nooooo."
Finndo: "Yes."
Sybil squints.

'You shall have thanks worthy of a King's remembrance':

Oberon: "To my sons, thank you. To the others, over the next week, I'd like to spend some time with each of you."

Hey. Sometimes things work out well:

Benedict: "I check up on the city guard."
GM: "Wow, the city guard is in shape. There's some bustle and efficiency going on."
Benedict: "Excellent. I'm pleased."

Around the castle, Sonnet keeps Sybil at hand while Sonnet fulfills her secretarial duties. An unusual job description:
 
Shai: "It involves burning papers, smacking things, and writing in her boss's handwriting."

Sonnet pens Finndo's correspondence with his various Amberside contacts:

Shai: "Sorry I've been away, sorry I've been away, sorry I've been away, sorry I've been away, sorry I've been away, sorry I've been away, are you out of your fucking mind, burn that one, sorry I've been away, WHACK, Sorry I've been away,... away on a matter of state, no apologies, of course."

The hazards of marrying young:

GM to Benedict: "Logan greets you with a large dinner that was already prepared and then he sends you off with Alyra who expresses to you how great it would be if she was naked."
Benedict looks confused.
Alyra: "I've been /faithful/ for two years and I'm a teenager!"

Quick on the uptake. Ahem. So to speak:

Rob: "It's the lacy hunting leathers..."
Benedict: "Oh. OH!"
GM: "/YES/."
Jarrod and Shai: "You'll be busy for a while."

He walked right into that one:

Benedict: "I'll be staying up for a few hours."
Deborah: "Operative word, UP."

Oberon summons Cyrus for an audience. Some children are easier than others:

Oberon: "I think I may have figured out who your mother is."
Cyrus: "I sit politely."
Oberon: "I'm not gonna tell you."
Cyrus nods: "All right then."

Upping the ominosity:

Oberon: "Cause if I'm right, I can't recognize you as my son for political reasons. But I am sure you're my son."
Lydia: "Hm, this seems not good."

Honesty is also not a family trait:

Oberon: "How do you feel about that?"
Deborah yells: "FUCK YOU."
Jarrod squeaks: "Sir?"
Cyrus: "I'm all right with that."
Oberon: "Really."
Cyrus: "Yeah."

And another few notches on that paranoia Geiger counter:

Oberon: "Cause I figured I could make it up to you?"
Cyrus: "Oh."
Lydia: "Cyrus looks wary."
GM: "Thought bubble: 'Shit'."

It's not good when you'd rather deal with bloodthirsty druids:

Oberon: "There's a certain post that's been vacant for a while."
Cyrus: "Oh no."
Oberon: "My fleets need an Admiral."
Lydia: "I was thinking about Tanauril. It's like I've got Tanauril, and I've discovered chainsaws. I understand we could use a logging industry."

There's that self destructive streak again:

Oberon: "Are you interested?"
Cyrus: "Yes."
Oberon: "Good. You're the best candidate."
Cyrus: "Uh oh."

Amber's retirement plan could use some modernizing:

Oberon: "I don't think it's likely that Dworkin will be dealing with us in a naval capacity but I'd like for the navy to be ready just in case."
Cyrus: "Ah."
Oberon: "You'll be instated in a month; there's certain people who need to be given other positions that do not insult them in order to pave the way."
Lydia: "Insult as in 'give him a very nice funeral.'"
Scott: "A VERY NICE headstone."

Anyone else want to get some hip-waders?

Oberon: "I hope this is enough."
Cyrus: "Yes."
Oberon: "Your service to the crown is appreciated, my son."
Cyrus: "Thank you."
Rob: "/Dad/."

Notice that for Oberon the title was more important than the fate of his granddaughter. Real nice guy, Oberon:

Oberon: "Is there anything else you need?"
Cyrus: "The Queen still has my daughter."
Oberon: "She's not the Queen."
Cyrus: "The former Queen."

Because what else can you say?

Oberon: "Yes. I heard that. I'll see if I can thrash that out of her when next I see her."
Lydia: "Wow. That's an unfortunate statement."
Cyrus: "Thank you."
Oberon: "Well. That's all."

Finndo, a long time ago, lost his one true love in a freak storm. The loss burned all passion out of him and is the reason that Finndo lives on duty alone. We tend to forget this:

Rob: "Finndo is nowhere to be seen."
GM: "Where is he?"
Rob: "He's missed two anniversaries."
GM: "Oh, very sorry."
Rob: "He is at his fiancee's epitaph. On the day she dies, he goes there."

Benedict explains to his father in law what the man's daughter has married. Logan takes it relatively well:

Benedict: "Piero's dead. There's only one Master of Eagle's Peak."
Logan: "WHAT? HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?"

When in need, any port in a storm:

Jarrod, sarcastic: "Well, I wasn't lookin', see... "
Benedict, earnest: "Well, I wasn't looking, see..."

A father in law's first defense is denial:

Logan: "Huh."
Benedict: "Yeah."
Logan: "Huh. Right, so not going there."
Jarrod: "And he's been sleeping with your daughter."

Now that's optimism:

Benedict: "Going out there to take a look."
Logan: "Be more careful than usual."
Benedict: "Right."
Logan: "And admit when you can't beat something."

We're such a supportive bunch:

Scott: "Logan will actually note that Ben's actually afraid."
Jarrod: "He should be."

Sonnet is using the time to investigate the nature of the altercation between her father, Karm, and Rast. Does this sound fishy to anyone else?

GM: "Rast made an observation on how a good wife would produce good sons. You are not convinced, Sonnet, that he was saying that about your mother; he may have been saying something else, and Karm happened to be nearby. Or he could have been making a comment on you. Or he could have been speaking about your mother. Or, etcetera. Accounts vary."

Putting that Franklin Planner to good use:

Shai: "Sonnet's also developing a list of horrible things that could happen to her - a nice list that she's putting in an envelope. She'll take it to the meeting with her, and then she'll hear what Oberon has to say, and then compare it to the list."

Sybil goes to see the King when she is summoned. The oh shit starts out quickly:

Oberon: "Lady Sybil."
Sybil: "Your Majesty."
Oberon: "What do you think of my sons?"
Sybil: "What do you mean, Your Majesty?"

Dodge, dodge, run, run, flee...

Oberon: "What do you think of my sons?"
Sybil: "I have often been instructed to stop thinking, Your Majesty."
Oberon: "You're allowed to share."
Sybil: "Thank you, I'll bear that in mind."

One part truth, one part lies - stir well. Not that it helps:

Oberon: "Well?"
Sybil: "I seem to have an excellent rapport with Finndo and Osric. Cyrus and Benedict haven't killed me."
Oberon: "Do you think of them in that order?"

He /did/ tell her to be honest:

Sybil: "I know Finndo. I know Benedict. I am acquainted with Cyrus and Osric and I am not acquainted with you."
Oberon: "Don't try starting that now, it's insulting."
Sybil: "Your Majesty, I don't know many men in your position with many friends or care for them."

A Fae can be bound by their true name; that's why Deirdre has been going by Sybil. Whoops:

Oberon: "I'm afraid you're going to like me even less, Deirdre."
Sybil freezes.
Oberon: "You're my daughter, Deirdre."
Sybil, panicking: "Don't /say/ that."
Oberon: "Your mother kept her daughter, but I kept your name, Deirdre."

Well, good that we've got that set up ahead of time:

Sybil: "Don't. Say that. Again."
Oberon: "You can dislike me."

Sybil considers herself bound by Finndo; she attempts to explain this to Oberon. When that doesn't work, she tries to throw it in his face with her typical, delicate approach:

Sybil snaps: "Is Finndo in your service, sire? You see the problem."

Denial, not just a river in Egypt anymore:

Sybil: "I'm not your daughter! You are mistaken. I am not related to this ... bunch."

~I'm his machine; he can push all the keys, he can push any button I was programmed through~:

Sybil: "You want me to guard them against their own safety."
Oberon: "Guard them by my word, not by theirs. This is the only geas I will put on you. For now."

Sonnet stops by Finndo's office on her way to her own audience with Oberon. On being thorough, how to:

Sonnet: "I have a list of the horrible things that could happen to me. I'd like you to keep a copy. We need a contingency plan. I would like a contingency plan."
Finndo: "You have a creative imagination. I don't think we even have alligators in the castle."

Efficiency taken to extremes:

Finndo: "Which of these are you really concerned about?"
Sonnet: "Top ten."
GM: "What are the top ten?"
Shai: "Marriage to Rast."
Jarrod: "That's 1-8."
Shai: "#2, father being killed. Random things from that. Selm is not mentioned at all."

You have to admire the way the lady's mind works:

Finndo: "I have no idea what my father has in mind."
Sonnet: "Neither do I; that's why I wrote these things down."

Sonnet prepares for her audience with Oberon. Making a statement:

Shai: "Sonnet dresses up."
GM: "What kind of dresses up?"
Shai: "Like a Queen of Andros might wear, complete with the sword Benedict gave her to wear."

Chivalry is not so much dead as just plain irrelevant:

GM: "You make it to the King's chambers."
Shai: "Do they ask me for my sword?"
GM: "Yes."
Shai: "Gentlemen, you are perhaps aware of a small fraction of what His Majesty can do? Do you think a small woman can be proof against that?"
Guard: "No, my lady. But there are a few such things as policy."

Now that's shamelessness:

Shai: "If I give you my dagger, will that suffice?"
Guard: "If you have a dagger, I must ask for that as well."
Shai: "Please allow a woman to die with some small dignity."

Sonnet brings brandy to her audience with the King. Knowing your audience, so to speak:

Oberon: "You haven't by chance acclimated that to whatever's in there, have you?"
Sonnet: "I stole it from Finndo's cabinet."
Oberon: "That explains it. Would that be the bribing father stash, or the bribing someone else stash?"
Sonnet: "I think it's father stash; it has nicer labels."

Ever feel like tinfoil on a string?

Oberon: "So. What do you think of your father's situation right now?"
Sonnet: "There's a chance he could end up a small red smear on Bran Brazil's tiles. There's also a chance he could find the chink in Rast's armor and impale him. Or do you mean the other situation?"
Oberon: "I learn more from how you think about it than what you think."

Stubborn critters, those Karms:

Sonnet: "Would I want you to believe I was attached to my father, Your Majesty?"
Oberon: "I wouldn't imagine so; he's attached to you, though he hasn't been showing it lately."
Sonnet: "I've been away."
Oberon: "Before that."
Sonnet: "I've been away."

Button pushing:

Oberon: "Haven't you. How about Remy? That's right; he doesn't use that name, does he. Selm."
Sonnet: "What about him?"
Oberon: "What's your assessment?"
Sonnet: "There is a rather long list."

The infamous, inevitable, neutral Mm:

Oberon: "Highlights."
Sonnet: "Mm. "
Rob: "97. By alligators."

She's not the only person in the room:

Sonnet: "There's a reason I haven't shown him everything I've learned."
Oberon: "You may think you haven't."
Sonnet: "I am pretty delusional, I'll admit that."

Philosophical paranoia:

Oberon: The man has a talent for noticing things he probably wasn't around to."
Sonnet: "Bastard's probably a sorcerer on top of that."
Oberon: "Master of disguise, certainly. He's always wearing some kind of mask; you just can't tell."
Sonnet: "Aren't we all?"
Oberon: "Yes, but some of us don't have quite as much range."

Way to reassure the lady:

Sonnet: "I imagine that if he really wanted me dead, he'd have arranged it by now."
Oberon: "Perhaps, but you've been away."
Sonnet: "I've been away, but I've been back."
Oberon: "What about his claim?"
Sonnet: "Andros is no longer a kingdom, is it?"
Oberon: "Doesn't mean people won't try now and then."

Dodge, dodge, dodge:

Sonnet: "It's a collection of baronies and duchies that has been subdued, more or less."
Oberon: "Problem is no one's ever come along before with enough legitimacy to make anything that big a threat. Arguably, you're the heir too."
Sonnet: "Arguably."

Not in the lifelong plan for celibacy and Benedict-avoidance:

Oberon: "Or at least your children will be."
Sonnet: "Pesky, that."
Oberon: "Yes."
Sonnet: "That would involve me having some."

Royal habits seem universal:

Oberon: /Yes/. Challenge Remy's claim fairly capably, wouldn't it?"
Sonnet: "It would. Unless I had them from him."
Oberon: Yes. You weren't planning on that, were you?
Sonnet: "I haven't thought about it in a while. There's something about incest that's a little bit repulsive."

My husband the Spock echo:

Oberon: "Oh, I don't think you're that closely related. In fact, we could even make a case that your children would have the stronger claim."
Sonnet: "Potentially."
Rob: "Fascinating."

Table turning:

Sonnet: "But that's not an issue, is it?"
Oberon: "Could be."
Sonnet: "Would you like it to be an issue?"

And down comes the other shoe:

Oberon smiles tightly: "So, I've contemplated whether or not you are queen material. Because I seem to be without a wife."
Everyone in the room screams.

Pattern recognition is indeed not Oberon's strength:

Sonnet: I thought you preferred sorceresses."
Deborah: "Yeah, cause that worked out so well last time."
Oberon: "S'true."

Can you blame her?

Sonnet: "Perhaps they know a few more tricks."
Oberon: "Right. So about you NOT being Queen material..."
Sonnet: "Thank you, Your Majesty."
Oberon: "Also means you're not really a candidate to be Finndo's wife."
Sonnet: "Thank you, Your Majesty."

The only fate worse than being married to Rage Lad:

Oberon: "However, I have this son who's something of a problem."
Sonnet: "He's already married."
Oberon: "Not that one."

On using people blatantly:

Sonnet: "How is he a problem?"
Oberon: "He's occasionally disagreeable, plus I think he should be brought closer into the matters of the kingdom. Plus, hey, Andros!"
Jarrod: "So, milk and honey."

Tempt not the weak of will:

Shai: "She pulls out her envelope."
Jarrod: "43!"
Oberon: "What's that?" He starts laughing, "Oh, huh. Would you like that one?"
Sonnet: "No."

No, /really/, came you blame her?

Oberon: "Is it on the list?"
Sonnet: "No."
Oberon: "Huh. I stumped ya!"
Shai to GM: "The 'fucker' [that Sonnet muttered] was very quiet."

And the man wonders why his wife left him:

Oberon: "If you think you can find it in you to have sons, that would be doing us a great service. And afterwards, you don't have to be married if you don't want to."

The gentlest objection I could imagine:

Sonnet: "There's a small problem with that."
Oberon: "Is there."
Sonnet: "A very silly girl."
Oberon: "You?"
Sonnet: "Yes."
Oberon: "Okay."
Sonnet: "Marriage happens once. It doesn't happen again."
Oberon sighs.
Sonnet: "I know, it's tedious. Would you like more brandy?"

Rationalization as a finely honed art-form:

Oberon: "Has that really stopped you in the past?"
Sonnet: "It usually only lasts till morning."

On the other hand:

Oberon: "Yes."
Lydia: "How about some illicit bastards?"

That second sight finally came in handy:

Sonnet: "I'll see what I can do."
Oberon: "Osric doesn't seem to be in residence right now."
Sonnet: "He's a wiser man than I."

He's quick on those subtler points, isn't he?

Oberon: "Let me talk to him first."
Sonnet: "By all means please do. I don't think I can say this with a straight face. Hi, we're to be wed, here are all the arrangements."
Oberon: "That would constitute telling him."

Warm welcome to the family bosom:

Sonnet: "Then I won't be leaving him a note saying 'run for your life'. Are you absolutely certain you would like me for a daughter in law?"
Oberon: "No, but I would like your bloodline."

More than one way to skin a cat:

Sonnet: "I suppose."
Oberon: "Think of it this way: no more suitors."
Sonnet: "I think I'd taken care of that problem quite handily."

It's nice to know what's important:

Oberon: "There are always foolish men."
Sonnet: "Yes, where would we be without foolish men? Probably quite bored and knifing each other in the back."
Oberon: "Just make sure the son's his. Have fun if you like, but make sure the son's his."

On painful reminders, how to:

Sonnet: "I'm ever faithful, Your Majesty."
Oberon: "Karms are. Give my regards to your father."

Now _that's_ a threat:

Sonnet: "I shall not speak of this to him. Or shall I?"
Oberon: "No. Unless you're going for that red smear option."
Sonnet: "... no."

Someone's smug:

TheGM does a touchdown dance.

Ben's player has a learning curve:

GM: "Benedict, you're going somewhere, weren't you?"
Benedict: "No."

A very steep curve, at that:

GM: "Going by your lonesome?"
Benedict: "No." He points at Jarrod. "Bringing him."

Sonnet visits Finndo after her audience with Oberon. There is an odd fascination with lists among these folk:

Finndo: "I like the look."
Sonnet: "Thank you."
Finndo: "So was it on the list?"
Sonnet: "No."
Finndo: "Oh, good."
Sonnet: "Not on mine."

The province of a Prince:

Finndo: "Is it something you want to talk about?"
Sonnet: "Well, he didn't say not to speak to you about it. It could be implied."
Finndo: "Okay."
Sonnet: "I'd like to go somewhere less public than this hallway, however."
Finndo: "Well," he says, standing and spinning the cane.
Sonnet: "How about Starbucks?"
Finndo: "The coffee's crap. But I know this other place..."

Benedict, meanwhile, trumps Osric to arrange to deal with Eagle's Peak. Synonyms of doom:

Benedict: "Brother."
Osric: "Yes."
Benedict: "I'm about to go on that errand that Father asked me to do."
Osric: "Ah."
Benedict: "I was wondering if you might accompany me; your unique perspective might include something mine doesn't."
Osric: "Enchanted."
GM: "Enchanted, ensorcelled, transmogified..."

Benedict and Osric ride out to Eagle's Peak and find things in a grim state. Perils of a brown thumb:

GM: "Nothing's growing within a good mile or two of the base. And the stuff towards the edge of it is in the grayer shades of green. You've seen sun bleached grass. Take it a few steps from that and that's where the greenery is going along the border."
Benedict: "Examine the vegetation."
GM: "It crumbles. Kinda brittle."
Benedict: "Darkness?"
GM: "No. It could be the aura side effect thing; it could be pulling the life out of the area. The soil is just not fertile here anymore. It's not quite sand, but it doesn't have the feel - there's no richness to it."
Benedict: "It seems to be extending itself slowly."
GM: "Not quick enough to notice it, but there's definitely a radius and the center is pretty clearly the [Eagle's] Peak."

Straight-line regrets:

Benedict to Osric: "Do you notice anything?"
Osric smirks.
Benedict: "Just a question."

Osric rule #12: When in doubt, be cryptic:

GM to Osric: "You have this vague sinking feeling the closer you get to the peak."
Osric: "They're up to something."
Benedict: "Wonderful."

Osric rule #13: Don't bother congratulating them when they state the obvious or you'll spend all of your time saying 'Officer thinking!':

Osric: "Must be drawing themselves up for something."
Benedict: "Charging, perhaps?"
Osric: "Mmm. "
Benedict: "That's not good."
Osric: "Mm."
Benedict: "Right. Hrm. All right. Off we go. Unless there's anything else to notice?"

This is why most Evil Dungeons have _drains_ and _plumbing_:

GM: "Well, the closer you get to the observatory, the more you notice it glistening, blackly, on the outside walls."
Lydia: "Oops. Podling ooze."

Concentrated for greater corruptive power!

Benedict: "Well, the mountain's leaking."
Osric: "Leaking WHAT?"
Benedict: "The darkness." He points out the observatory.
Jarrod: "It's new, liquid doom."

Benedict and Osric make their way to the entrance to Eagle's Peak only to find that black ooze has completely filled it. Where angels fear to tread go our Princes:

GM to Benedict: "You're where the aperture should be. Things have gotten a bit smoother; it's difficult to tell."
Benedict opens it.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery:

GM: "It [the goop] has completely filled the cavity beyond."
Benedict: "Really."
GM: "Yes."
Benedict: "Really."

Where no sane man has gone before:

GM: "Yes. You can probably make a tunnel through it."
Benedict: "That's what I'm going to do."
GM to Osric: "He's kinda making a bigger glorping hole in the thing with his hands like he's directing modeling clay."

'Do not say 'must' to Princes':

GM to Osric: "You gonna follow him into that shit?"
Osric: "I rather have to, don't I?"

Devil, details, lack of plan, oops:

GM to Benedict: "You take a few steps?"
Benedict: "Yeah. I tell him."
GM: "When you turn to talk to him, you see it's [the black goop] trying to close in on him."

Putting the shoe on the other foot:

Benedict: "You have your trumps on you?"
Osric: "Now you mention that?"
Benedict: "I think I can control it but, just in case, you might want to have an escape mechanism on hand."

Amber appetizer:

GM: "There's a muffled sound in the distance. You're getting closer, it sounds like someone screaming. A few someones, you aren't sure. Osric, you're not sure if it's him or the Pattern but stuff is not closing in on you as much."
Osric: "Good. I am not lunch."
Rob: "I am not dipped in rich creamery butter."

Why isn't anyone ever happy to see Osric?

GM: "Osric, Hmmm. It has eyes. That are occasionally opening up and looking at you and then closing and sinking back in."
Osric: "I'm getting the distinct impression it doesn't like me."
Benedict: "I'm not too surprised."

Shamelessness:

GM: "Mmmmmmmmmmm! Osric, you're pretty sure it's a woman screaming behind all of this goopy ickness."

Lion. Den. Goo. Same principle:

GM to Benedict: "You're out first. You hear Alyra screaming in the distance. You're pretty sure it's Alyra. And there's that small ramp down into the caverns in front of you."
Benedict: "I keep the thing open for Osric."

There comes a point where you just accept that the universe is out to get you:

GM: "Something's about to grab at you, Osric. You know this."
Osric: "I concentrate a bit more then."

BAD dog. No biscuit. Under the table!

GM: "Osric stops a moment, focuses, and ripples go through out the whole gooey mess and you see one of those devourers kinda start to half form towards him and then get knocked back."
Benedict: "HE WILL NOT BE HARMED HERE."
Devourer warbles a complaint.
Benedict: "HE WILL NOT BE HARMED."
Devourer whines and retreats, groveling.

Puts a whole new take on 'property manager', doesn't it?

Benedict: "Where is this shit coming up from?"
GM: "You know there was an internal moat here before."
Rob: "A primal source."

Or 'babysitter', perhaps:

GM: "Maybe... Piero kept this in check?"
Scott: "That's what I'm afraid of. And how the hell he did that..."
Rob: "A firm talking to."
GM: "You do know you heard him shout more than once 'Behave yourself!'"

Osric and Benedict decide to pursue the screaming they've been hearing. This is not the time to go philosophical, guys:

GM: "You see a quick flash of Alyra running past, pale, and the thump thump thump thump of a pursuing stride."
Osric: "Why does any of this matter?"
Benedict: "It doesn't. I want to find the source."

Strange the things that seem to ring of truth:

GM: "You're going in, and the pale shape is rushing towards you and it resolves into Alyra and she runs and hides behind the both of you, cowering."
Alyra: "Is it a trick?"
Benedict: "Is it the real Alyra? A trick?"
Alyra backs away from Benedict.
Benedict: "This is not a trick."

The limit of rage approaches infinity as Defcon gets closer to 1:

Alyra: "Oh my god!"
GM: "And she turns and runs. And thump thump thump walking towards you. And a sword gets drawn - "oh , it's you," [says Benerat, Benedict's rat evil doppleganger, the one who raped Alyra]. "I've been looking for a rematch. Whatcha doing?"
Shai: "Defcon - what?"

What was that about dangerous impulses being the death of the boy yet?

Benedict: "Stop."
Benerat: "No. I think there can be only one boss here. I think I'm doing a pretty good job. I think you should go away."
Benedict thinks.
Benerat: "Oh, fuck it. This is boring."
GM: "And he attacks you."

Resource allocation:

Benedict: "I'm going full defensive."
Osric: "And what would you like me to do against this?"
Benedict: "See if the Pattern is effective here."

Iago says "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to *ear droop* suffering."

GM: "Did you use [your aspect of] Anger?"
Benedict: "No. I'm controlling my temper. I don't want to use that here."
Lydia: "Darkness. Anger. Yummy!"

Dopplegangers. Very dangerous. You go first:

Osric: "Any time you want to assert your dominance..."
GM to Benedict: "Which Osric said that?"
Osrat: "Yes, be about that, why don't you?"
Benedict hesitates.

Querying witty comeback database; please wait...

Benedict to Osrat: "What did you just do to my counterpart?"
Osrat: "I flooded him with Pattern; what would you do?"
Benedict: "... Right."

"Shoot the hostage."

Osric: "He's here to distract you; keep going."
Osrat: "No, he is."

Apparently the Danger Will Robinson lightbulbs need replacing:

Benedict: "I start to try to feel if I actually have; I want to find the source of the darkness."
GM: "It's all around you."
Benedict: "I try to go to deeper into it."

Nattering evil:

Osrat: "Hello. How are you? I imagine you're rather used to this, aren't you? You know, evil twins and all that. Hrm. Somehow I thought you'd be more interesting. You know, if you're here to destroy us, we're only too happy to oblige."
Benedict: "My time, my place, my choosing, not now. Shut up."

Nattering, disrespectful - well, it is evil:

Osrat mouths: "I don't like him very much."
Benedict: "And _go away_."
Osrat flips Benedict off before he walks away.

Unfortunate Summoner reference:

Benedict: "I'm looking for the source."
GM: "Roll against unraveling."
Shai: "Roll against the darkness."

Anyone else having a Black Company Cavern of the Dead moment here?

GM: "You round a corner. Gosh, this seems familiar. You don't know why."
Benedict: "I stop."
GM to Osric: "He stops suddenly in front of you."
Osric: "I close to a pace and a half."
GM: "It looks like natural rock till you look closely. And it's very intricately dark. In about a million different languages."

The benefits of an education:

Benedict: "Really. Any of that I recognize?"
GM: "No. But you're sure they're languages. Osric, this is a gate."

Time To Go Now:

Osric: "Really."
GM: "Capital G Gate."

Osric needs to come with hold music:

Lydia: "Gate to what?"
Osric: "That's a very interesting question."
GM: "It's /very/ old."
Benedict: "What do you make of this?"
Osric: "Just a moment."

Is that your technical description of the issue? / "You're the new Director? Hi. Nice to meet you. We seem to have lost New Jersey."

GM: "Some of it does look like that casket's stuff. You recognize a few glyphs; you can't read it but you recognize the glyphs."
Lydia: "So all that's suck."
Osric: "This is a gateway, brother. A significant one."
Benedict: "Right."
Osric: "I have no idea where we'll end up. Someone was very verbose on the topic."
Benedict: "... Well, the source is through there."

See, the Egyptians would have had fewer issues with those pesky tomb robbers if they had employed deterrents like this:

Osric: "Oh, one other thing. You see that that and that?"
Benedict: "No."
Osric: "Do you see there are carvings with little pictures?"
Benedict: "Yes."
Shai: "Including the one of the bird."

Will that be a five or ten minute pity party? Both end with 'and now you suck it up':

Osric: "That one and that one and that one were on the sarcophagus."
Benedict: "That does not fill me with any sense of confidence whatsoever."
Osric: "Oh, was I supposed to?"
Benedict: "No, I'm just making an observation."
Osric: "Oh."

Notice that he doesn't precisely disagree:

Benedict: "The source is through here."
Osric: "That would stand to reason. "
Benedict: "Shall we?"
Osric: "Are you certain?"
Deborah: "Osric's way of saying FUCK NO are you _insane_?"
Jarrod: "Well..."

What, your magic wand is in the shop?

Benedict: "Well, let me posit this to you. I really want that goop to stop expanding. I'm not sure how to do that."
Osric: "Perhaps you should tell it to."

That's always the catch with transactions based on soul-selling:

Benedict: "It's possible. Then again the source might be a good place to do that."
Osric: "Yes well, you may not have complete control here if you ever do."
Benedict: "Oh, I am aware that I am a master here and I do have some control but it's more of a jest than anything else."

Go with good heart and great cheer:

Osric: "It's true; we should stick close together. Let's hold hands."
Shai and Rob: "And skip."

That's one explanation:

GM: "It doesn't feel any different; you're just a few feet down the tunnel."
Rob: "Cause it's a railgun."

Dipping a toe in the water:

GM: "Bit of a draft; it's a stale draft. Musty, dusty, aged, and you come out to a ledge and a gigantic abyss opens before you and there appears to be this flowing river flowing up of blackness pooling on the ceiling far above."
Benedict: "Is it within reach?"
GM: "No. But are you reaching for it."
Benedict: "Prepare to pull me backwards."
Osric: "Riiiight."

Afterthoughts:

GM: "Sonnet's face resolves in the blackness. 'Are you back for me, my love?'"
Benedict: "Oh hello. No, not quite. Not quite yet."
DarkSonnet: "The column is just kinda swaying, serpentine."
Benedict: "Though, stop what you were doing and pull back the blackness."

Some reputations are earned:

DarkSonnet: "Embrace us as you once did. Complete the union."
Benedict: "I'm afraid I can't do that."
Deborah: "Oh god spooky nookie."

Because good wives come naked? Someone explain, please:

DarkSonnet: "Partnership is a two way street."
Benedict: "Yet you call me a master."
DarkSonnet: "I'm a good wife." And she smiles Sonnet's best smile. And the naked torso is kind of resolving."
Benedict: "Oh, yes, of course you are."

Putting a new spin on 'centerfold':

Shai: "Poor Osric, he has no idea."
Benedict: "Oh, you get a prenuptial glimpse here, bud!"
Lydia: "It's the Sonnet preview edition!"

Look, if the Powers of Darkness ask for blood, say NO:

Benedict: "NO, not yet." He pulls back.
DarkSonnet: "Drop of your blood. Into the cavern. It doesn't have to be to me."
Benedict hesitates.

At last, I find a use for chauvinism:

DarkSonnet: "Fine. Drop of his blood."
Benedict: "No. No. I'm afraid not."
DarkSonnet: "How can I be an obedient wife if you don't keep me furnished with baubles?"
Benedict: "Because that's your place; you're supposed to be obedient."

Sensible advice at last:

DarkSonnet: "Throw in your sword."
Osric: "Don't do anything."

'You have lost your innocence somehow, but everybody loves you now':

Benedict: "Again, it is I who am the master of this place and you who are not. I am not the one to be given requests or orders; you will behave yourself and you will pull back. NOW."
DarkSonnet, coy: "Rent's overdue."
Benedict: "You heard me."
DarkSonnet: "All right. I'll pull back. I'm sure we'll chat later."
Benedict: "Yes, we will."
DarkSonnet: "Stay healthy."
Benedict: "I plan to."
DarkSonnet: "Say hello to Alyra for us."
Benedict: "No. Shall we go now?"

Existentialist:

Osric: "What was the point of all that?"
Benedict: "Point of all what?"
Osric: "Why did we come here again?"

Shelved is not resolved:

Benedict: "Dad asked that the problem be taken care of and be looked into."
Osric: "Right."
Benedict: "I belive it has for the moment been rectified."
Osric: "I don't."

Three point shot, nothing but net:

Benedict: "I know it's only temporary."
Osric: "It's your affair, brother. So to speak."
Lydia: "Ow."
GM: "Nice."

Sucking eggs at Grandma:

Benedict to Osric: "You get a dark look."

It's not virtue if it's never been tested:

GM to Benedict: "You could just push him [Osric] into the crevasse; you could overpower him. It seems like a good idea..."
Osric: "Brother, I do believe you're getting angry for some reason; perhaps you should calm down."
Benedict: "Perhaps we should get out of here /now/."

Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.

Osric: "All right."
GM: "Who's going first."
Osric: "He is."

Benedict and Osric leave Eagle's Peak and ride out to Bran Brazil as requested by Oberon. Bran Brazil is the huge impregnable fortress that was the last refuge of the old Knights of Andros, the royal family that Sonnet is descended from. Rast runs it for Oberon now. Rast is large and slow. Not stupid.

Rast: "HELLO!" He thumps Benedict on the back by way of manly greeting.
Benedict: "Ooof."
Rast to Osric: "Hello!"
GM: "He doesn't thump you, Osric."

Benedict finally takes Sonnet up on her offer of a heads up (that she has to kill him, but she leaves that part out). Warnings, subtle and otherwise:

Sonnet: "Gellar's journal. Gellar was the oldest son of the last king of Andros. Gellar got a bright idea. Apparently the Androsian knights were fighting the darkness for years and years, driving out the old gold in the favour of the new and shining order of chivalry. Being the end times, he was gong to join the darkness because he understood it in order to fight Oberon. And, well."
Benedict: "Well, that puts a different spin on things."

Slain by Oberon, nibbled alive by the darkness he tried to use for light's purposes, these things happen:

Sonnet: "The last battle was in the swamp, which is where the barony now sits."
Benedict: "So he died at the swamp."
Sonnet: "Presumably."
Benedict: "Oh. Right. Who was the one who fought Gellar?"
Sonnet: "Oberon. And his cohorts."

A rather Tudor approach to inconvenient first hand witnesses:

Benedict: "Dad. Trump Dad again."
Oberon: "Yeah?"
Benedict: "Sorry to disturb you; when you fought Gellar, near the swamp near Eagle's peak -"
Oberon: "Oh. Him."
Benedict: "Were you there?"
Oberon: "No, I had some guys."
Benedict: "Who? Anybody I could talk to?"
Oberon counts on his fingers. "No."

A little paternal comfort:

Benedict: "Shit. Apparently Gellar embraced the darkness before he went to fight your cohort."
Oberon: "That would explain why it got ugly."
Benedict: "Yeah. Thanks."
Osric: "He's probably still pissed."

Interpretation by degrees:

GM: "It's quiet."
Osric: "I think he's here."
Benedict: "There's a problem."
GM: "It's /really/ quiet."
Benedict: "There's a problem. Draw swords. Out. Look for guards in the hallways."

Let's define the scope of the problem:

GM: "Open the door?"
Benedict: "Yes."
GM: "Faint smell of smoke. Sound has come back. And you hear the sounds of some shouts and possibly people running around. The smell of smoke has gotten stronger. How fast are you running? You're bolting. Round a corner, that corner, up those stairs, there's a significant amount of fire down that away. A number of people running, trying to bucket into it, do you run up to them?"
Guard: "Rast is in there!"
Benedict: "Rast is in there?"
Guard: "Rast is in there; few men are back there, trying to get back to him, but too badly burned."

Karm is a right psychotic ruthless bastard, but he's not normally dishonorable. The guy /is/ a Knight, to explain why Benedict sounds surprised. Clue one:

Benedict: "Who started the fire?"
Guard: "Karm."
Benedict: "Karm did this?"
Osric: "I don't think Karm's a sorcerer; someone else is involved here. We should have heard."

The principle is the right tool for the right job, not just one tool for any job you might have:

Benedict: "There's more going on here; you're right. I can save Rast. I don't like how, but I can save Rast."
Osric: "What are you planning?"
Benedict gestures [to indicate he'll call on the Powers of Darkness].

Your values are how you live and what you choose to do:

Osric: "They're just trying to get their hooks into you more."
Benedict: "Possible. How much do you want Rast?"

Sonnet, under instructions, trumps Karm to isolate him and get him out of the situation. She starts out politely:

Sonnet: "Papa?"
Karm: "How?"
Sonnet: "It's a magic means of communication we can speak about when you come to the castle. Are you at liberty to come to the castle right now?"
Karm: "There seem to be about a dozen armed men about 15 seconds from kicking my ass."

Daddy has to go to work now, sweetheart:

Sonnet: "Would you like a lift?"
Karm: "I'm busy." He draws his swords.
Sonnet: "Papa?"
Karm: "Busy!"

Rejection:

Sonnet: "COME HERE."
Karm: "Mind your elders."
Sonnet: "She grabs him."
GM: "He backhands her. Trump contact breaks. "
Sonnet: "Son of a bitch; last time I try to help you."

Details:

Deborah: "Why didn't you knee him in the balls?"
Shai: "I couldn't /reach/ his balls."

The party has busted their way through Bran Brazil, Sybil using Town (her main fire elemental) to control the fire and provide passage for Finndo to get through to Rast. Fire and Water are anathema to each other; hazards of the paycheck:

GM: "Looks like Rast took three or four swings at whoever it was; there are deep divots in the stone walls from the gigantic sword that he occasionally swings around. He was armored and his stopping point appears to be about 20 paces forward with the blade finally buried in the wall; he's got the full iron stove thing going on and he's not moving."
Finndo: "Town, protect my hand. "
Town: "This is tricky."
Finndo: "We are trumping to Amber Docks."
Town: "There might be blistering."
Finndo: "That's okay."
Town: "AUGH WATER WATER." And he shoots up.

Small catch: trumping into the harbour holding onto a large iron stove does weigh a man down:

GM: "You're in the water; you are sinking - I'd say like a rock, but rocks are slow."
Finndo: "I give it a ten second count to stop the worst of the steaming and we're trumping to the castle."

Sonnet trumps Benedict from the castle, but the timing is off. And too late:

GM: "You're recovered, you're making a trump call, and a gigantic mound of metal and Finndo just showed up."
Rob: "They get the helm off."
Sonnet: "He's [Karm] in the countryside under attack and he wouldn't come through."
GM: "The more armour you get off him the more bone you're seeing."

The requisite Cyrus Notices A Small Issue Moment:

Cyrus trumps Finndo.
Finndo: "Yes?"
Cyrus: "Fuck fuck fuck fuck!"

Finndo left Sybil behind to put out the fire without specific suggestions as to how to go about. Never let your sorcerer types get creative:

GM: "And, Cyrus, you see one of the rivers break free from the - there is no dam. Huh. It's ... running up hill towards Bran Brazil."
Cyrus: "Bran Brazil is being eaten by the elements!"

By 'Quinn'd', Finndo means 'possessed', much the way Cyrus was possessed and used to commit murder in an earlier session. Cyrus trained under Rast. Sending Brute to save Caesar:

Finndo: "They've killed Rast."
Cyrus: "Oh, that's not good."
Finndo: "They Quinn'd Karm. Find Karm. Make sure they don't kill him."

Look, can we just talk?

GM to Cyrus: "It's not hard to find Karm, seeing as there are five dead soldiers around him and he's engaged with three of them and several more of them hanging around him."
Cyrus: "I will knock out the soldiers around him; it's the only way to talk to Karm."

A little less talk, a lot more action:

Cyrus: "Finndo wants to talk to you."
Finndo: "I'm trumping him."
Karm: "I'm busy. Excuse me, I'm just - could you deal with those people?"

'Apologize, and say it like you mean it':

Finndo: "Explain."
Karm: "Rast had his men jump me."
Finndo: "Unlikely. Rast is dead."
Karm is in a rage; he sneers the words out: "Hrm. I'm sorry."

Knowing when to concede the point:

Finndo: "You will put down your sword. And you will come through."
Karm: "Am I under arrest?"
Finndo holds up two fingers close together and snarls: "No, but you are this close to it."
Karm drops his sword and bares his teeth to Rast's men: "Say hi to the boys."

Sometimes the forms are unnecessary:

Rob: "And there's Sonnet and Rast's body."
Karm holds out his wrists.
Finndo: "Just sit down." And he trumps Oberon.

Way to give a shit about your loyal supporters, asshole:

Oberon: "WHAT?"
Finndo: "Rast is dead."
Oberon: "Thought the duel was tomorrow."

'He steals your best minds, he divides you...'

Finndo: "Wasn't the duel but there are a number of things pointing to Karm all the same."
Oberon: "Mm."
Finndo: "Yes. Except Rast was burned to death."

Or we could just let the psychopathic sociopathic knight go on his own recognizance:

Oberon: "Investigate enough to make Rast's men at peace with it."
Finndo: "Yes, but there is a particular piece I need your authority for it."
Oberon: "You see, I was getting on the road about now."
Finndo: "Yes, but I need you to talk Karm down."

Karm's last view of his daughter:

Shai: "Sonnet folds her arms just like him [Karm], salutes, and walks out."
GM: "You meet Oberon coming in, he mouths 'I'll have to tell Osric later' and walks past."

Well, you could TRY reason, but it might just hurt. A lot.

GM to Cyrus: "Okay, you've got 12 angry knights of Rast who saw you beat up some of them. You're an accomplice!"
Lydia; I'm trying to figure out - you can't reason with these guys, you know?"
Scott: "It's a big fraternity!"

The 'last time' Bran Brazil was betrayed, Oberon was slowly conquering Amber and Karm was a Knight of Andros, the realm over which Bran Brazil stood. Karm rode into the gates under Andros's flag, slew everyone within (with the exception of one of the daughters, whom he married) and raised Oberon's flag in the morning. Rewarded for one betrayal, held accountable for another that was not his doing:

Rast's Lieutenant : "Bran Brazil has been betrayed once before; it's not going to happen twice."
Cyrus: "Karm wasn't responsible for killing Rast."
Rast's Lieutenant: "An amusing story; I saw him enter."
Cyrus: "How did the fire start?"
Rast's Lieutenant: "I didn't see it then. He was admitted to the gate in preparation for the scene tomorrow."
Cyrus: "But you didn't see him start the fire."
Rast's Lieutenant: "No, but I saw him admitted to the scene. Lay down your sword."
Cyrus: "No. I don't think so."

The one time Cyrus tries reason, the other guy is advocating violence:

Rast's Lieutenant: "Perhaps you'll be so good as to hold on to the sword while I call down a few dozen men."
Cyrus: "I don't think so."
Rast's Lieutenant: "Right. Defend me, gents." He blows on his horn.
Cyrus: "I run. I trump Finndo."

Sorry to inconvenience you, Dad:

Finndo: "Trumping Benedict while waiting for Oberon."
Oberon: "Should I wait?
Finndo: "Look, I have no idea what happened yet, but- "

Establishing the lines of authority:

Oberon: "Karm."
Karm: "Your Majesty."
Oberon: "Right." He points at Finndo. "My representative."
Karm nods: "Yes."

Or perhaps forms are all that matter:

Oberon: "All right. Now that we have that clear, he's going to try to clear things up. I don't care if you did it, I don't care if you didn't. Proper forms must be observed."
Karm: "But I -"
Oberon: "Proper forms, Karm."

Rob has been saying for months that when Finndo cracks, there will only be a tiny, tiny snapping sound:

Finndo: "Hey, Dad?"
Oberon: "Yes."
Finndo: "You suck. Just thought I'd get that in. Have a nice trip."
Oberon: "Toodles."

Finndo does trump Benedict. Summing up:

Finndo: "Rast is dead. Karm is here."
Benedict: "Yes."

Always, always, always be specific:

Finndo: "Things are still quite confused. Sybil is at Bran Brazil. She is in the courtyard, she should be taking steps against the fire. However, find her, get her to talk to the fire before it goes away."
GM: "Water washes over your feet."
Benedict: "Little late for that."

Cyrus trumps Finndo. Again with the summing up:

Cyrus: "So I'm running away from a lot of Rast's men."
Finndo: "Great, c'mere."

Sonnet, meanwhile, has stalked off to her room in a royal snit over being punched by her own father when she was only trying to help him. Thus she doesn't really notice when her bedroom door locks behind her and Selm catches her off guard when he bursts out from her wardrobe, sword drawn, and attacks her. Sonnet doesn't fare well:

Selm: "Come on, don't make it TOO easy!"
Sonnet: "What have I ever done to you, you piece of shit!"

Innuendo to the last drop:

Selm: "I don't really have time for that, my dear."
Sonnet: "This is not putting me in the mood for sex."
Selm: "I had another form of penetration in mind."

Moments that GMs live for:

GM to Sonnet: "It's slow mo, like both a lovers dance and a fight to the death; you manage to get a scratch in and he looks back and then drives home, pinning you to the door."
The players stare at the GM.
GM smiles: "And that's where we'll wrap up."