Fred: "As I page, so shall I GM."
Sonnet, upon returning home after a 12 year absence, is sent to greet and care for her mother:
GM: "Your mother is as usual catatonic. Dad has not brushed her hair in an hour, and that might be an issue if he hears you didn't."
Lydia: "Oh, god, her mother's Ophelia."
Sonnet relating to her mother: "The more I think about it, the more mom is just like a little scared animal."
Sonnet and the positive outlook on Mom's condition: "There's a great garden scene on one wall, and of course Papa probably killed the artist afterwards, but at least he died for his art!"
Sonnet, upon returning home after a 12 year absence, is told that she will be sent out on an errand with the Princes of the realm. She is to look somewhat fetching (but not too fetching):
Lucan (her sidekick): "Oh, goody."
Lucan: "We're going to have to pretty you up, aren't we?"
Lucan: "Shall I select something for you while you feed your mother?"
Sonnet: "Yes, but NOT lingerie."
Lucan: "Well. Not on top."
Lucan became Sonnet's sidekick by being castrated by Sonnet's father, Lord Karm, when Lucan was primarily interested in being Sonnet's lover. (This sounded much more reasonable when Shai explained it.)
Lucan: "Is it okay if I ride about a mile back from Daddy?"
Sonnet: "Yes. DON'T *sing*."
Lucan: "I would never sing around Daddy."
Sonnet: "It's been a while, hasn't it?"
Lucan: "Yes, it has - yes. Yes. It has. Excuse me, I'm going to hide now."
The GM took a moment to explain that Amber city in part runs up the more gentle of the hillsides of Kolvir in terraces; the higher the income bracket, the higher the terrace. The hillside is also critical to the city's sewage and drainage systems:
Jarrod: "So, essentially, everyone does get shit on by the rich."
Fred: "Yes, and the shit quite literally does roll down hill."
Cyrus begins his introduction; apparently Deborah was staring at Lydia for much of it:
Lydia: "yes, I have a particularly interesting past, Deborah. Stop blinking."
Cyrus has a meeting in a tavern. The other attendee departs:
GM: "He vanishes through a curtain. Do you try to follow him or anything like that?"
Cyrus: "No, I'm smarter than that."
GM: "Ah. Yes. You stay and sample the product, then. The product is acquiescent, and you are gentle."
Cyrus: "No. He isn't gentle."
GM: "I thought you said - "
Lydia: "I said he was gentler than the others."
GM: "Oh." Pause. "Ah. Yes. The product is at least acquiescent."
Lydia: *bursts into laughter* "Scott is shaking his head!"
Deborah: "The product is acquiescent while grunting in pain?!"
Lydia rolls three negative die while concealing a letter at the feet of a statue in the hall of Castle Kolvir:
Deborah: "Do we have a skillset called 'fucked'?"
GM: "*You* think you did a good job."
The players discuss character generation:
Lydia: "Who came up with Karm's wife?"
Deborah: "It was my husband."
Lydia: "It had to be Rob, Shai or Fred."
Fred: "Rob came up with Karm's wife; I realized that Shai had to be a Karm."
Deborah: "Well, it was my husband. Which should worry me, come to think of it."
Finndo and Osric meet up outside Cerano, the vineyard duchy, on their way to the castle in response to Oberon's summons. Osric has been training an elite force of 100 men as a crack unit.
Finndo: "Lovely corner you've found here."
Osric: "It's adequate."
Finndo: "These are your men, I take it?"
Osric gives him a long, flat stare we labeled an 'Osric look'. "Yes, I'm training them."
Rob: "Finndo's very interested in this strange idea of Osric's of training men near vineyards. If that's what he wants to do - if that's his brother's lifestyle choice, he wants to be supportive. Good for him!"
Finndo: "These things have to be done - you understand. You have to spend all that time in the fields, digging latrines."
Osric: "Well, _I_ don't."
Finndo: "Well, _someone_ has to dig latrines."
Oberon summons his son Benedict, the youngest of the lot, back to Castle Kolvir from Arden. Benedict, upon learning that their mission is in Arden, asks why:
Oberon: "Unfortunately, you have to be back at the castle before I can send you back where you are."
Jarrod: "Ah, airline routing."
On seeing a disguised and unrecognizable long-lost Benedict approach, Osric and Finndo discuss his likely identity and unlikely clothing:
Finndo: "Do you think he's lost?"
Osric: "He certainly needs a bath."
Finndo: "I think he's trying to blend! I don't suppose you have a bow."
Osric: "I do."
Finndo: "I could throw a bottle of wine at him with some enthusiasm."
Osric: "Glad to see those parties haven't made you soft."
Finndo: "The right tool for the right job."
Upon realizing that the approaching traveler is in fact little brother Benedict:
Osric: "The prodigal son returns."
Finndo: "You're kidding! What the hell's he doing, out here dressed like THAT?"
Osric: "Perhaps he's lost..."
Finndo, "HEY, BEN!"
The brothers are reunited; they greet each other and discuss the summons that each of them received:
Benedict: "Father actually asked how I was doing."
Finndo: "Perhaps he's ill."
Osric: "Did you ask him how _he's_ feeling?"
Osric: "Well, Benedict, how _have_ you been?"
Benedict: "Well. Thank you, I -"
Osric: "Just that?"
Osric: "Why would he call us back here to send us back there - "
Benedict: "He _did_ ask how I was feeling."
Osric: "He must be having some sort of episode."
Benedict changes out of his armor into something a little more appropriate. Scott, espouses briefly on how Benedict feels about this:
Scott: "I - I feel naked."
Jarrod, in Osric's voice: "I don't wish to know that."
Osric and Benedict find the letter that Cyrus concealed at the foot of a statue in castle Kolvir.
Osric: "I have an opportunity to teach you something. Why don't you put that back where you found it, and let's find out who comes to get it - come away from there."
Benedict hides it just as badly as Cyrus did.
Osric: "Officer thinking."
Sonnet rides up to the castle with her father, Lord Karm. Her father tells her to stay put, and so Sonnet stays put, right where she was, sitting on her horse. It should be noted that Sonnet is extraordinarily attractive:
Benedict: "Who's THAT?"
Rob: "I take it back, the day IS shaping up."
Osric: "She's too young for you."
Benedict greets the lady. Lord Karm is known for being insanely and homicidally protective of his wife, and only slightly less so of his daughter:
Benedict: "Are you Karm's daughter?"
Benedict looks disappointed. "I see."
Sonnet: "Do you still joust?"
Benedict: "Not in a while, but I still do. Yes."
Sonnet: "Oh. Interesting."
Sybil is introduced in the Land of the Fae. Everyone has been very nice to Sybil, which is quite unusual:
Sybil: "I work very hard at hiding."
Sybil approaches her maternal parent to glean some information on what's afoot:
Sybil: "Lovely trees we'll be having tomorrow."
Sybil's mother: "Yes, they'll be singing."
Sybil: "Can you remember a week?"
Long pause while Sybil's mom thinks.
Sybil's mother: "Yesterday, I was a goat!"
Sybil's mother: "You're a very odd child."
Sybil: "Mother, what would you ever do if I were to walk away?"
Sybil's mother: "I would wave."
Sybil stalks off.
Her mother waves.
Sybil approaches the Prince of Colors for much the same reason:
Sybil: "I have too many 3's this week."
PoC: "Do you want to know what she traded or whom she traded to?"
PoC: "He is called the Hunter in White. I have often not gotten along with him."
PoC: "He is white. He is pale. I am Color."
PoC: "If you run too early, your mother will repay her price doubly."
Sybil: "If I can get there before the party is, I won't be where the party is."
Meanwhile, back at the castle:
Finndo: "And I see that Osric is growing his own little army."
Oberon: "I allow him to think so."
Finndo: "I consider it something of a curiosity."
Oberon: "Osric is always ... curious."
Finndo is seen privately by Oberon before the official meeting; his younger brothers have to wait around in the hall.
Jarrod: "Finndo gets to attend the staff meetings."
Rob: "And we all know what a joy that is."
Benedict has some anger issues:
Finndo: "Brother - brother - you're turning that _color_."
Benedict: "You know, Dad could have mentioned something about this."
Finndo: "I'm sure all will be made clear."
Osric: "To _you_, perhaps."
The brothers take up a fishy way with words. The puns keep coming:
Finndo: "Oh, dear, Lord Karm and Sir Cyrus. Something is fishy."
Osric: "Brother, don't bait him (Benedict)."
Finndo: "It was too easy!"
Finndo, of Benedict: "I think he's just worried Father will get his hooks into him."
Osric: "You really need to stop."
Cyrus: "Prince Finndo, I don't wish to fish for information, but do you know what this meeting is about?"
Sir Cyrus can't resist poking the great big red button on Benedict's temper:
Cyrus: "Good morning, Prince Finndo, Prince Osric." Long pause. "Oh - Prince Benedict."
Finndo drags Cyrus away: "Sir Cyrus, have you met the Lady Karm?"
Cyrus gives Benedict a little wave as he is dragged away.
Finndo: "Please don't bait him. We don't have time."
Finndo: "We have a meeting to get to, gentlemen. Benedict, just think about what would happen if Sir Cyrus hit on Lady Sonnet."
Benedict feels better.
Sir Cyrus and Lady Sonnet chat:
GM: "Lord Karm emerges."
Cyrus: "I am no longer arm's distance from the chick."
Sonnet: "I am on my horse, staying put, and above cleavage viewing level."
Cyrus: "I make my *Exquisitely Polite* bow to Lord Karm.
On character direction:
Fred: "Karm's kinda the direction Benedict shouldn't go..."
Sonnet, Cyrus, Lord Karm, and the brothers meet with Oberon to discover that they are being sent to Arden to concede on principle and make vague appeasing noises as necessary to the Far Lords, who want every third Court held there.
Finndo: "Do we have any holdings in contention in the Farlands?"
Oberon: "I consider the Far Lands to always be in contention - but I suppose you mean the borders."
Finndo suggests that they bring along all of Osric's men:
Oberon: "Well, figure that looking like you're invading - unless you are - is a bad way to say hello."
Lucan got to wait outside in the hall for the duration of the meeting. Lord Karm emerged first, and gave the lad a look that suggested that not everything that could be cut off was cut off - and that no harm should come to Sonnet. Thus, Lucan looks downright ill when Finndo emerges next:
Finndo: "Ah. Lord Karm's passage was not uneventful?"
They set out, properly attired. For Sonnet, this means being armed with a cutlass and being dressed like a lady - complete with lace-bordered parasol.
Benedict: "_Put_ the parasol away."
Sonnet: "As you wish."
GM: "Benedict, you catch the manservant silently applauding you."
Sonnet: "you catch the polite obscene gesture she gives her manservant."
The Princes play with shadow to get to their destination efficiently:
GM: "The forest is getting a lot closer a lot faster than it ought to."
Cyrus: "What an excellent reason to not say anything."
Sonnet: "Bloody hell, they're all frigging warlocks!"
Finndo, at the beginning, won several bottles of very old and excellent vintage.
Jarrod: "I have this image of Finndo with a Batman utility belt of wine bottles."
Oberon's emissaries (the party) meet with Lord Dorr, the closest thing to a representative of the interests of the Far Lords. Dorr explains that he needs to get a large concession out of Oberon, and that he's only giving them a heads up in private out of his respect for Benedict and Oberon:
Dorr: "So. This is the only way I can put this to get across to you the buy in we need: which one of you is here to marry my daughter?"
Sonnet: "Fortunately, not me!"
Cyrus: "Nor I."
Osric, to Benedict: "Bet you wish you'd stood in bed."
Cyrus: "I have a drink. I have many, many, many drinks."
Finndo: "He has many drinks."
Cyrus: "Many, many drinks."
Jarrod: "Many two!"
GM: "Agh, cross-campaign humor!"
Finndo: "I'm sure this situation is one you're familiar with."
Sonnet: "Unfortunately, Father's only killed... no one important."
Finndo: "Well. The man your father will approve of -"
Sonnet, with a flat, psychotically intense stare: "The man my father would approve of will be the Very Best Man In The Kingdom."
Finndo: "Oh, dear. I can already see this will be delightful."
Sonnet: "And here I was only worrying you three were here to be assassinated."
Finndo: "With Benedict, the second deadliest man in the kingdom - "
Benedict: "SECOND deadliest?!"
Sonnet volunteers to feel out Lord Dorr' adolescent daughter:
Sonnet: "Perhaps I should speak with her. Perhaps she already has a suitor she'd like to run away with."
As they're discussing this, a small dark haired wild child darts frantically passed, pursued by a pack of enormous hounds and a hunter in white armor on a grey horse. The party starts to engage and Cyrus gets a bit gung ho:
GM: "You see Cyrus tear past. Lucan says, "Are all these guys /nuts/?!"
Sonnet: "Yes. Join them!"
The small child turns out to not be a child but to be Sybil, who at one point summons a salamander (fire spirit) and promises it the dogs and the horse and the hunter. The salamander goes to with enthusiasm on one side of the fight, towards which Sonnet directs Lucan while she goes the other way:
Lucan: "You're leaving me with the living spark? Screw you!"
Sonnet: "Avoid it!"
Cyrus, having gotten the Hunter off his horse and on the ground, plants his foot on the man in the most effective place possible and rolls to lop off his head. He asks the GM what the appropriate skill is:
GM: "Holding someone down by their crotch while you hit them with a sword counts as Dirty Fighting."
Sybil fires an arrow with a binding spell that's particularly volatile. The arrow takes out a hound:
GM: "Sonnet, there are hurtling bits of wolf - oh, and a live wolf."
Sybil, concealed, tries to sneak off. Osric gets a hold of her:
Sybil: "Lily-livered thug!"
Osric: "No, that's my brother."
After the fight, the party captures Sybil and discuss recent events:
Cyrus: "Oh, good. I am not alone in the wack-assage."
Sybil is not getting along well with folks, but feels obliged to praise Osric's intelligence in relation to everyone else's:
Sybil: "One lit wick among the dead candles!"
Finndo: "She's charming, isn't she?"
Benedict: "I think she's almost as annoying as I am."
Finndo: "Surely not!"
Sonnet, on Sybil: "She makes me feel quite focused."
Sybil: "I will give you a queen of spades; it does not taste like Anything."